


Waltz Me To Heaven

by SaintJudith



Series: Earth 437125 [7]
Category: DCU, DCU (Comics), Lobo (Comics), Red Lanterns (Comics)
Genre: Drinking, Excessive Drinking, Gen, M/M, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Vuldarian Guy Gardner, sex mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-02 20:05:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10951755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaintJudith/pseuds/SaintJudith
Summary: Guy goes out drinking with the Red Lanterns and runs into someone he hadn't seen in a while.





	Waltz Me To Heaven

To say that Guy needed a drink would be inaccurate. They had plenty of drinks in the stolen ship the Red Lanterns were now calling home. What Guy needed was the atmosphere that came with having a drink. He needed to feel the movement of other lives going on around him in a poorly lit bar with music playing low until some sap decided to feed the jukebox. He just needed that hint of normalcy. The familiar feel of a bar. Something he hadn't felt since he'd become a red lantern over two years ago.

Guy looked around the common room of the ship. These fellows probably hadn't felt much normalcy since they'd become red lanterns either. "Alright," Guy announced to no one in particular. "I'm going to go find a bar to hole up in for a couple hours. If any of y'all want to join me, just follow."

"How are you going to get drinks when none of us have any money?" Rankorr asked, looking up from the card game he was playing with Skallox and Zilius. Zilius used this opportunity to try to look at Rankorr's cards.

"Easy. We'll start a tab and then get kicked out once we get drunk enough to tell them we can't pay it," Guy said with a smirk.

"I'm in!" shouted Zilius. He flung his arms up and knocked over the table, sending the cards flying.

"Hey!" Rankorr swung his arms out of the way trying to save his hand. "You only did that because I was winning."

"Who cares?" Bleez scoffed from across the room. "Skallox always wins anyways. Besides, this idea sounds like way more fun than watching you two cheat poorly."

 

* * *

 

The rag tag group of red lanterns landed in front of a long two story building with all manner of space fairing vehicles parked around it.

"Are you sure this is a bar?" asked Rankorr, starring at the suggestive neon images posted on the front of the building. "It doesn't look like any bar I've been to."

"That's because you're a square," Guy said as Skallox threw an arm around Rankorr pulling him down to his height.

"Man, Rankorr, the bars you've hung out in must've been sad. These kinds always have the most interesting customers. Made a few deals in places like this myself." Skallox dragged Rankorr along with his head in his armpit. "Bleez, you might attract a lot of attention though."

"Ha! I always attract a lot of attention." Bleez gave a flick of her chin as she confidently followed them into the bar.

Guy and Zilius walked behind them. "Now Zilius, buddy," Guy warned. "I don't think it'll go over too well with the establishment if you go barfing a hole through their floor. So I'm begging you. Please pace yourself."

"You puke a hole through a spaceship one time and you never hear the end of it!"

Inside the bar was about how Guy expected it. Low lighting, low music playing from somewhere, a couple holo screens, and a corner with whatever passed for billiards in this part of the galaxy. The smell of various fried foods managed to overcome the scent of alcohol and throw up that lurked underneath. This was home to Guy.

Guy could see Skallox and Zilius trying to convince Rankorr to help them hustle some of the pool players. Not that Rankorr would be much help. Bleez had already managed to gather a group of three or four fans to cover her drinks. Though none of them seemed to have caught her eye for more than their wallets.

Walking up to the bar, Guy ordered a drink Kilowog had him make once. While he waited he continued to look around. This was definitely a seedier bar filled with the kind of folk who's living wasn't quite honest. Not that he really cared anymore. It wasn't like his was either. A movement by the bathroom caught his eye. He couldn't believe the face he saw emerge between the group of pirates and the group of mercenaries. It was one he hadn't seen in a long time.

"Your drink."

"Huh?" Guy was startled out of his trance.

"Your drink," the barkeeper repeated with more irriation in their voice.

"Right. Thanks." Guy took it and downed it in one swig. "Can I get another? I'm starting a tab with me and those guys." Guy pointed to the rest of the lanterns.

They grumbled something about all the new punks making gangs and how back in their day the designs for uniforms were at least good before going back to mixing drinks.

Guy stared intently at the bar's counter as he felt the effects of the drink set in. The mix had originally been intended for aliens of Kilowog's size. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had a proper meal either. Putting on the red ring means your blood gets replaced with the acid of rage, but it also means that it sustains you as long as you're wearing the ring. No matter what sort of upkeep your body needs.

"Fuck me," Guy mumbled.

"Been there done that," a low gravely voice replied.

Guy turned his head, maybe a little too quickly, and saw Lobo standing behind him. "Lobo!" Guy said, maybe a little too loudly.

"Hey, Gardner. I thought I smelled your stink in here. Nice duds." Lobo tipped his head to indicate Guy's red lantern uniform as he sat down next to him at the bar.

"Oh you know," Guy said pointing at his hand. "New jewelry, new look. Gotta make sure the accessories match the outfit."

"HA," laughed Lobo. The bartender slid two drinks towards them, Guy's round two and what must've been Lobo's regular drink. "Do you still have that jacket I loaned you? The one you gussied up to wear with that yellow ring."

"Sadly that one won't be coming back to you. Joe took it in the divorce." Guy took a cautious sip from his drink. The thought of throwing up in front of Lobo was enough to make him exercise restraint even in his inebriated state.

"Joe?" Lobo asked after downing his in one go.

"Oh you know Joe. Looks just like me only not as handsome and has a worse personality. My free alien clone. Every superhero gets one." Guy looked into his glass and mumbled, "He's probably stolen my identity again since I've been gone so long."

A silence settled between them. The noise was steady across the bar except by the pool tables. Guy looked up and saw that Rankorr had some how managed to get one of the patrons more than irritated.

"One of yours?" Lobo asked pointing. Another drink had made its way into his hand.

"Unfortunately." Guy shook his head. "I don't know how a kid with no personality manages to piss off so many people. At least Bleez seems entertained," Guy said with a huff.

Bleez was watching carefully from her group of admiring wallets. She whispered to one of them and they got up making their way to the argument. So far Rankorr was managing to keep himself restrained as the other alien started to shout in his face. Skallox and Zilius were laughing behind him. The attacker decided to make a move and threw a fist into Rankorr's stomach. Rankorr moved with the blow and feigned a hit while taking the opportunity to expel the napalm all over the alien's face. They held their face in their hands screaming. The admirer Bleez had sent over hesitated. Looking back a forth between Rankorr and the alien now running towards the bathroom, they decided whatever Bleez had said to them wasn't worth it. In shame, the admirer retreated back to their original group.

Lobo let out a low whistle. "So can all Red Lanterns do that?"

"What spit out acid? Yeah, it's one of the fun side affects of removing all your blood and replacing it with some magic crap." Guy spit a bit of napalm down onto his chin for emphasis.

Lobo reached out and ran his thumb under Guy's lip wiping off some of the napalm. He brought it up to his mouth and tasted it. "Hot," Lobo said contemplating the flavors.

"You're telling me!" Again Guy's voice was too loud. Lobo smirked at him. Guy took a few gulps of his drink to have something to do. "So what are you doing here Missssster Lobo?" Guy's emphasis earning an amused look.

"Well, it's no Al's but this place is good at making strong drinks and there's usually some sucker dumb enough to face me in galactic pool. Helps me pay for dolphin treats when the bounty buisness is slow." Lobo turned his attention back to the corner with Rankorr, Zox, and Skallox. "Looks like you brought three suckers in with you." Lobo got up and headed towards them, ready to fill his wallet.

Guy hurriedly downed the rest of his drink, forgetting his reservations about puking. Then deciding not to waste the liquor drank the third bottle of Lobo's that had appeared right before he stood up. "Lobo, wait!" Guy got up from his stool ready to follow Lobo. His legs immediately gave out. Lobo had not been kidding about the strong drinks. Had Guy been paying attention he would've seen Bleez laughing uncontrollably at his blunder. And had he been counting he would have realized he had the equivalent of at least twelve drinks in the last half hour. To his surprise he found Lobo crouched down in front of him.

"Feetal's Gizz, Guy. What happened to you? You used to be able to hold your liquor."

Guy grabbed onto Lobo's hands, his wrists propped on his knees. Guy managed to pull himself upright. Or at least as upright as Lobo's crouching was. "Listen. Lobo. You and I, we go way back," Guy said pulling him closer. "You even gave me Christmas presents once. How do you even know about Christmas?"

"The Easter Bunny told me."

"Really? Damn. What was I saying? Right. We go way back. You know ME pretty well I'd say. At least parts of me anyways." With that last bit Guy gave Lobo an over exaggerated wink. Lobo could not believe how fast the booze had hit Guy. "And these guys. They don't. But still they're my pals. We've been through a bit together. They're good people. Well, not really. They're good revenge anger demons. Please don't fuck them over." Guy finished by wrapping his arms around Lobo's neck and falling limp.

Lobo stood up. Guy held on. Lobo took a couple steps. Guy held on, his feet dragging on the floor. "Guy, what are you doing?" Lobo was feeling just buzzed enough to humor him.

"Mmm dancing with you," came the lazy reply. "Can't you hear the music?"

Lobo stopped for a second but whatever was playing in the bar was too low for him to hear over his inner radio and the sounds from the rest of the bar. "Not this music."

"Sh shu shush listen." Guy pulled himself up a little, trying to get closer to Lobo's ear. Guy started to hum. Then Guy started to mumble hum some words. And with a flash of red there was a little floating record player coming off of Guy's ring.

"Can I have this dance? It feels like romance," came from both the record player and Guy. Guy tried to get Lobo to sway with him as he continued to mumble along. Lobo was thinking about it. But he was also thinking about how he actually liked how the bartender who was working tonight mixed drinks and he didn't want to risk having to kill them if they decided to be an ass about this later. He had a reputation of not taking shit from anybody to uphold.

Lobo hoisted Guy up, wrapping an arm under each of his legs. Guy made a noise at the sudden shift, but quickly resettled himself. He ended up so that he was hugging Lobo more than hanging off him. Guy was still mumbling along as Lobo carried him into the bathroom, the record player trailing behind.

Lobo sat him up on the counter in the bathroom. Guy leaned back against the mirror. His singing was louder with the acoustics of the bathroom. "Waltz me to heaven tonight!" Guy crooned along.

Lobo shook his head. "Man, that shit really did a number on you Gardner. What happened to your Vuldarian endurance?"

"Healin hasn't been working proprly," he slurred. "Probbly somthin todo with the magic blood." Guy hummed a few more lines. He leaned forward, reaching out, and held Lobo's face. He started poking Lobo's nose with his thumbs. "You've got a Voldemort nose. Anybody ever tell you that?"

Lobo swatted Guy's hands away and turned on the water in a sink that tended to clog up.

Guy had fallen back against the mirror again. "He's from Harry Potter. In the moviess he's got a nose like yours. A leetle different though." Guy sighed. "I saw that last one with Carol and Kari...." The record player was the only one singing now. Guy fumbled with his collar and pulled out a necklace. On it were two rings, his old green lantern ring and a star sapphire ring Carol had given him the last time she saw him. He held them close to his face and stayed there.

Lobo stopped the water and turned towards Guy again. He grabbed Guy's hands prying them from around the rings. "Come on let's put these away," he said tucking them back under Guy's Red Lantern gear. He pulled Guy off the counter and put him in front of the filled sink. "Guy. I want you take in a deep breath and hold it." Guy nodded. "Ok."

Lobo shoved Guy face first into the sink and held him there. After a couple seconds Lobo let Guy out of the water. Guy was coughing and spluttering. Apparently he had not successfully held his breath. "What the," cough, "fuck was that for?!" Guy choked out.

Lobo picked at his teeth while he looked down at Guy. "You were really fragging drunk, and I was tired of babysitting you."

"Geez thanks," Guy said wiping water out of his eyes. "Good to know I can count on you." His words were dripping with annoyance.

"Hey, I could've just shoved your head in one of the toilets. But I decided to be nice since we go way back and everything." Lobo grinned.

Guy looked at him. He could tell that Lobo wanted something it was just a matter of what. "What do you want," Guy asked eyeing Lobo suspiciously. Things were tended to be a double edged sword with him.

"I was thinking how you could suck my dick with your mouth full of that acid. And we'd see where that takes us."

Guy smirked. "Of course you'd be into that." Guy paused, shrugged. "Sounds good." They headed out of the bathroom, Lobo's arm wrapped around Guy's shoulder.

"Hey, uh, could you settle my tab. None of us really have any money and I'm starting to feel bad about not paying it."

Lobo laughed. "No wonder you didn't want me to hustle your group."

"Yeah well we haven't stopped anyone with useable currency in weeks." Guy scratched his face. "It's been mostly groups carrying illegal shit and I don't feel like trying to move it."

"You always were a goody goody."

Guy punched Lobo's gut. "You gonna pay it or not?"

"Yeah yeah," Lobo said walking over to the bar.

Guy looked at him fondly as Lobo walked away. "Hey y'all I'm leaving and y'all ain't invited this time so don't follow and don't make me come get all y'all later," Guy said into his ring.

"What, you found something better to do?" Zilius's voice came through.

"More like someone," Bleez said dryly.

"Goodbye!" Guy turned off the communications.

"And here I thought we'd made some plans," Lobo came back with a smirk.

"So did I," Guy said putting his arm around Lobo.

No one noticed as they walked out, driving into space ready to spend the night together.

**Author's Note:**

> Guy is playing Waltz Me To Heaven as performed by Waylon Jennings


End file.
